Today is my last day working a “real” job. My life is about to become something wholly different, but it still feels like one of those afternoon naps that just won’t let you loose. I feel like I can just make out the sound and vibration of the world shuffling around me, but I just don’t want to wake up and face my Sunday chores. And Monday is coming.
My house is partly packed. My plans are partly made. My life is partly this but mostly that and I think I should be scared or excited, but I’m mostly just stunned. Last week I was a Director in a large company. Next week I’m going to be a writer for, well, mostly me. I don’t really know what the future looks like exactly, but who really does?
Friends have been so wonderful and supportive. Everyone tells me that I’m brave. If this is true, I don’t think this is nearly hard as you think it is. I think that perhaps being brave is nothing more than getting out of your own way. You know what to you want to do in terrible moments, in hard times, when presented with pivotal possibilities. The question is- will you find a way to talk yourself out of doing the thing that is pounding through your pulse, that your heart says is right? Or will you pause to rationalize and listen to the voices of your own haunted past, those bullies of long gone consequences. I cheated a little though. Quit your job and it suddenly becomes a little too late to talk yourself out of anything.
I’m not saying we should all quit our jobs and strike out on our own. I’m forty-one years-old and I don’t really think last year, two years ago or five years ago that writing for a living would have been what I truly wanted to do. But I do think that life is far too short to not get out of your own way. You don’t take any of this with you, so perhaps what is most important of all is what you leave behind – your children, your charities, your art – all the beautiful things that you can orchestrate that change this world if you will simply allow yourself to. So will you do it? Will you follow your pulse? I hope so and I hope you will share what comes of it!